WWJD

Seems that more often than not when I read my Bible I become more confused than ever. I think maybe I try to read into things too much or maybe the Bible was meant to be left for interpretation. I mean what that is worth having has ever been gained easily? Though I love when I read a scripture a millions times and then the million and one time I see a different perspective. Strange how that happens.

Micah and I often talk about the church, like what direction it is going and what are some things that could be changed. I often think people complicate church way too much. What is so difficult about loving God in a corporate setting? I know people have their issues and there is no better place to iron them out than church but seriously, lets get it together. Maybe if we did a little WWJD but on a grander scale in our lives we would realize that loving our neighbor means being kind to everyone, not just to the people next door. That means when you are shopping in a mall you don't take out your bad day on the sales rep. What kind of example is that? We as Christians must live our lives to be seen and judged by those around. Why is doing so so ard at times?

my love

love

choices

so many decisions to make

consequences are hard to determine

and what if your heart is undefined in feelings

will god give signs plain in sight?

with some things there is a knowing, with others a leap of faith

yet when intentions are pure and willingness able

all things form together

Life after M-day

So how's married life? A common question proposed to me now-a-days.
Honestly?
I'd have to say it's pretty awesome. I think the idea of marriage is scarier when viewed on the other side but now that I've crossed that boundary, things are greener.
I feel like I can finally breathe easy in my relationship with Micah. Not that I was uneasy with him, things just felt different, like a piece of puzzle missing-an incompleteness if you will.

The wedding felt like a dream and we felt God's approval on that day. Knowing that we are in a God ordain relationship has made any doubts or fears just fall away.

Life's a beach

Why when 'it rains, it pours'? Why does stress come softly to the point of migraines and body ailments?
These two weeks have been some of the hardest two week that I've had to deal with in a while and I can't seem to get my stress down to a manageable level without including some kind of pain medicine to numb the headache and aid sleepless nights. So why do I pop pills and sleep my life away? Something I'm trying to figure out at this moment I guess, maybe you have an answer for me. Is it society telling me that's the quick fix or is it my lazy attempt to fix a problem.

Marriage

I'm engaged
People keep asking me if I feel any different since I've been so
I guess in a way I do.
Since Micah is the only man I've ever consisdered marrying I guess there is a greater sense of commitment and belonging that I have with him.
With this new sense of commitment comes many new changes, some are easy and the others are rather difficult.
At times changing my old ways can be extremely hard, luckily I'm weird and I like the task of having to alter my mentality, in this case I'm having to think in a sense of 'we' instead of just 'me'.
I've thought about myself for so long it will be a nice change to think in terms of another being, selfless and considerate though trying to overcome selfish desires.
I like being engaged.
I think I'll like marriage ever better because of the challenges it will pose and the outcomes are determined by your actions.
I like knowing that God has an ultimate plan for us but he also gives us control to shape of lives.
These are exciting times.

circles

i am an entirety

whole. satisfied. fulfilled.

i am the essence of a sphere. the roundness of circle. a mind in thought and then a thought to mind.
i am complete.
be it my convictions to blush at such a bold declaration, yet this present second concedes that i am happy.
maybe it is an emotion, whether fleeting or concrete, it stands that i am able to retain the shape of absoluteness.
yet where does this confession stem?
not within my humanity. for my humanity has brought me squares, ovals, and triangles. misshaped deficents of form.

no. god is wholeness. god is circle, god is sphere. i realize that i merely prance upon pre-drawn lines that characterized my developed shape. god is my shape. the more i blend the more i bend. smooth curves of contentment.
i am complete.